Comments (1)Chelsea’s Choice
August 20, 2010Meredith Jacobs
Special to the Jewish Times
Whether Chelsea Clinton’s wedding to Marc Mezvinsky is the wedding of the year remains to be seen. But certainly it is the wedding of the summer.
And not just because of the fabulous weekend of events, but because of the length and breadth of chatter before and after the actual wedding. In the months preceding, we obsessed over signs that she would convert. Bloggers pointed to her attendance at last year’s High Holiday services at JTS. Others confidently stated that she would never convert, having been grounded completely in her Methodist faith.
During the weekend, we all just hoped for photos of the promised Vera Wang gown, happy that the ugly duckling had absolutely grown into a swan. And after? After the wedding, Jewish journalists, bloggers, Facebookers and Tweeters all commented on the various Jewish elements and what they meant to the world at large.
But I wonder if there was any chatter in the non-Jewish world? Did Methodists care that a prominent daughter married a Jew? Did they wonder how the children would be raised or if a menorah would sit beside a Christmas tree in their newly purchased $4 million NYC condo?
I don’t think so. Which is interesting for a variety of reasons. One, and perhaps the most significant cause in the increase of interfaith marriage in America, is that it’s not such a shande in the non-Jewish world to marry a Jew. Or at least it is less so. Two, perhaps they’re not as fearful of what intermarriage could possibly mean for their future.
I am happy a rabbi officiated. I am not condoning interfaith marriage. I’ve seen the numbers. Interfaith marriages are more likely to end in divorce. But I believe the presence of the rabbi is an opening of the tent, a vital outreach to the non-Jewish spouse.
I also believe that whether or not the Jewish elements included in the Clinton-Mezvinsky ceremony followed Halachah (Jewish law), they did indicate their importance to the couple, an absolute statement that Judaism will be part of their life together.
As to the future, I have spent the summer with an amazing group of women I have been honored to teach in a Mothers Circle, a program created by the Jewish Outreach Institute to provide free Jewish parenting classes to non-Jewish women who are raising Jewish children. These women are in interfaith marriages and for whatever reason do not wish to convert now, but have completely committed to raising their children as Jews; not as half-Christian/half-Jewish, celebrating Christmas and Chanukah. The babies who attend class in their snuggies each week are Jewish children.
I listen week after week as the women discuss the value they feel in raising their children in our faith. They tell me they want their children to be immersed in our ethics. They hope they’ll have a Jewish sense of humor. They ask about how to create a dinner table filled with debates and engaged conversations. And yes, they want to learn how to bake challah.
Their questions are thoughtful and show a desire to truly understand and embrace Judaism. I am humbled by what they are doing and humbled to be teaching them. Yes, I taught them how to light candles (which they do every Friday night) because as far as I’m concerned, any woman who is creating a Jewish home and raising Jewish children is a Jewish mother.
So I thank Rabbi James Ponet for opening the door. For even if Chelsea remains committed to the faith of her childhood, it does not mean that Bill and Hillary won’t one day dance the horah again. This time, at their grandson’s bar mitzvah.
Meredith Jacobs is the author of “The Modern Jewish Mom’s Guide to Shabbat” (Harper Paperbacks) and co-author, with her daughter, Sofie, of “Just Between Us: a no-stress, no-rules journal for girls and their moms” (Chronicle Books).
