1. How are intermarried couples effected by the experience of being a mixed religion marriage and family?
2. How do their families respond to them and their childern?
3. How does the Jewish community respond to them and their family?
4. What can the Jewish community do to better serve and be more attractive to interfaith families?

Participants engaged in dialogues on issues which are common to many interfaith households, such as how they and their relatives deal with holidays and life cycle rituals . During the inteviews couples revealed their personal experience of being intermarried, experiences with each other, parents, siblings, children, and communities. One wife said, "John's parents had more trouble with us marrying than mine did, but my family was around John the whole time we were going together, and his family lived some distance away, so we only saw them a few times before the wedding. After we first got married, they would deliberately send extremely religious cards, and they would address letters only to him and refer somewhere in them to 'his wife.' You know, 'Hello to your wife.' And then on my side, the one who reacted on a religious level was my sister . She sent me letters saying "How cruel this is of you. Somewhere there's a Jewish man for you.'" Regardless of tensions, most interfaith couples presented themselves as fairly comfortable with their circumstances. Yet, all of the couples expressed a variety of educational and cultural needs, particularly realating to dealing with children.

Parents of intermarried children were also interviewed. They , too, responded candidly to questions concerning their relationship with children, sons/daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren. Pressures from children and extended family members is widespread. One grandmother described being pulled apart, "My daughter married a Jew and has two lovely Jewish kids. She's raising them beautifully. My son is intermarried and has kids. He and his wife are raising the children as Christians. Well my daughter doesn't want me to be friends with them!" A number of parents expressed feelings of rejection and uncertainty about their roles. Many felt uncomfortable in their relationships with grandchildren. Life cycle and holiday events were frequently a source of tension for the parents of intermarried couples.

The Jewish community and leaders got mixed reviews from intermarried couples and their parents. The Jewish partner of one couple, in the US military at the time of their marrage, was troubled when she spoke to the Jewish chaplain. She recalls: "He just castiagted me for wanting to marry a 'gentile.' I walked out in tears and sought another Jewish chaplain at a different naval base. She was a female, really nice, and encouraging. It turned out that her sister was in an interfaith marriage." While the older generation was more familiar with the operations and practices of the Jewish organizations, neither generation expressed a firm belief that the community could solve their private problems. However, intermarried couples agreed that acceptance and gestures of inclusions of nonJewish spouses and children at synogogues and ceremonial rituals would be a welcomed step by the Jewish community at large.

From these conversations, it appears that there are a variety of initiatives that Jewish organizations could undertake to improve the prospects of Jewish continuity in the lives of intermarried families. Foremost, there is a vast need for the developement of educational materials-booklets, audio cassettes, and Internet sites- to help diseminate user-sensitive information on religions. Intermarried families in this study welcomed the organization of group dialogues for interfaith couples and their parents and guides to help people deal more sensitively and effectively with the intermarried population.